Selected Jean Kerr Quotations
• I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?
• Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.
• The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.
• A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.
• Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.
• I make mistakes; I'll be the second to admit it.
• If you can keep your head about you when all about you are losing theirs, its just possible you haven't grasped the situation.
• Some people have such a talent for making the best of a bad situation that they go around creating bad situations so they can make the best of them.
• Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?
• Adversity draws men together and produces beauty and harmony in life's relationships, just as the cold of winter produces ice-flowers on the window-panes, which vanish with the warmth.
• Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite.
• Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself -- like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.
• Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.
• The real menace about dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.
• Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent.
• A poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money will help.
• One of the most difficult things to contend with in a hospital is that assumption on the part of the staff that because you have lost your gall bladder you have also lost your mind.
• I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.
• If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving you with only one definite piece of information: french-fried potatoes are out.
• The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.
• Even though a number of people have tried, no one has ever found a way to drink for a living.
• When the grandmothers of today hear the word "Chippendales," they don't necessary think of chairs.
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About These Quotes
Quote collection assembled by Jone Johnson Lewis. Each quotation page in this collection and the entire collection © Jone Johnson Lewis 1997-2009. This is an informal collection assembled over many years. I regret that I am not be able to provide the original source if it is not listed with the quote.
Jone Johnson Lewis. "Jean Kerr Quotes." About Women's History. URL: http://womenshistory.about.com/od/quotes/a/jean_kerr.htm . Date accessed: (today). (More on how to cite online sources including this page)