Humorous Biographies |
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| M-Q (credits below) | |
MACBETH, Lady, a royal somnambulist.
MARY, a young girl who was presented with a famous lamb. Seldom was seen without the animal. Conveyed it to school with her one day, thus causing considerable mirth among the pupils. Was severely reprimanded by the teacher, as it was against the regulations of the institution to permit animals, other than the children, in the class-rooms. M. returned the lamb to the stable. Her biography has been extensively published.
MEDICI, Katie, an Italian French woman whose past was uncovered by those historians. Was fond of poison, but did not care for Methodists or Presbyterians.
MEDUSA, a celebrated ancient who had the delirium tremens in an acute stage.
NATION, Carrie, a window-smashing American liquor suffragette who believed the ridiculous doctrine that all men should be sober all the time.
NERO, Mrs., Nero's wife, who had considerable trouble with her husband.
O'GRADY, Sweet Rosie, also of Ireland, long dead, but still bragged about.
PALLAS, a Grecian goddess who was metamorphosed into a raven perch by Poe.
PANKHURST, Mrs., a celebrated English woman who terrorized a government, starved herself, smashed windows, blew up things, and made speeches for a living. Girlhood spent in developing muscle, pluck, and theories. She appeared before the public and declared that the liquor traffic would be terminated when women voted. Spent years of her life wondering why the men would not give them the privilege. Never cared for the ministry, although she was a very good woman. Ambition: A woman king. "Votes for Women" in the Union Jack. Recreation: Planning the "next." Publications: From the Cradle to the Ballot. Windows I have Smashed. Address: London. Care Scotland Yard.
PANKHURST, Sylvia, a little Pankhurst who helps mamma break things.
PATTI, Adelina, a singer who said au revoir but not good bye. Epitaph: Cum Grano Salis.
PINKHAM, Lydia, of vegetable compound fame. Made a fortune out of advertisements, little boxes of pills, and women who believed what they read.
POMPADOUR, Madame, coiffeur, Queen of France. Said to have been a peach. Was a great friend of Louis XV, and helped make the dances at Versailles a success. Ambition: Plenty of hair. Recreation: Versailles. Address: See Louis. Clubs: Anti.
Credits: The biographies in this section were extracted from Who Was Who: 5000 B. C. to Date: Biographical Dictionary of the Famous and Those Who Wanted to Be, edited by Irwin Leslie Gordon, about 1910.
